The StupidSoft Zork parody! An all-text adventure game!


-Dedication-

This game is dedicated to my dead iguana, Fluffy. Fluffy died
as he lived: Small and green.

-Nostalgia-

Anybody who's ever gotten misty-eyed thinking about the hours they
spent glued to their 64K computer trying to conquer Zork, Planetfall, or the
numerous other Infocom and Infocom-esque games will love this. My first
exposure to this type of game was a game simply titled "Adventure" on the
Imsai computer that I used to play with while visiting my Dad when he taught
at Clarkson College (now University). You've probably never seen an Imsai.
We're talking ancient. You had to flick one power switch, wait for the
computer to warm up, flick the other power switch, and then turn on the
monochrome terminal. We're talking nothing but character graphics here. I
used to play a Space Invaders clone on it where you were a /\ shooting down a
bunch of //^\\'s and \\^//'s. But anyway, I was in like first or second
grade, and I was trading hints and solutions with college students and even
a professor or two who were just as obsessed as I was with trying to get a
nameless adventurer past obstacles described in all capital letters and
storing treasures to accumulate enough points to win the game. When I
finally got the LAST treasure, and tried to store it in the house where you
stored treasures, the game crashed. Psychologists have pinpointed this as
the point in my life where my mind broke.

I decided to write this here adventure because I have a job where
half the time I just have to look busy. Programming text adventures is a
great way of doing this.

Anyway, I've tried to capture a lot of the feel of the Zork games in
this parody. It won't recognize stuff as complex as the Zork games could,
but it doesn't require that you type only two-word commands or anything. It
knows that "Check out the damn rodent" is the same thing as "look gerbil"
and so on. Try out some Zork stuff...you might find something nifty I hid
in the game. :)


-The Plot-

You have been banished by an evil wizard to...no...um...you lost your
memory and find yourself in...no, that sucks...uh...

Well, however you got there, you're in Townburgsville (thanks Ted)
and you'd rather be elsewhere. Townburgsville has condemned theme parks
dedicated to bodily secretions, homicidal clowns, trolls, bartenders who look
like trolls, people who like washed-up sitcom actors, and even (GASP!)
lawyers. So get the hell out of Townburgsville and you'll win the game.

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